


FLAT

by CreativityTheEmotion



Category: Original Work
Genre: Flat Earth, Gen, supernova
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 13:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20797538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativityTheEmotion/pseuds/CreativityTheEmotion
Summary: People struggle to understand a once-in-a-million-years event, even though to others, the answer is obvious.





	FLAT

It was an event that, even in a world not nearly as interconnected as ours, would be impossible to miss.

Some who noticed it firsthand recall going out at night, when suddenly, a new star lit up as bright as the daytime sun, and perhaps even brighter. Suddenly, a peaceful night turned into a day that felt hotter than it should have, with strangely empty streets. For others, it happened during daytime, and yet, with clear skies, everything suddenly attained a second shadow, emanating from the second sun.

Due to its position in the night sky when it blew up, the spectacle was instantly visible to those in North America and Europe, making for a good chunk of the civilized world. However, most of the Northern Hemisphere was eventually able to spot the new star, making its own circles across the sky, in a slightly more constrained fashion than our own sun. Those in the far southern reaches, such as southern Argentina and New Zealand, were less lucky, but even they could spot the new star, popping out of the horizon for an hour or two.

It was an event that immediately halted all discourse and, while the economy didn't exactly end up crashing, major disruptions were to be had across the globe.

Of course, within minutes, NASA published their report on the matter, naming the second sun for what it really was: a supernova, the brilliant explosion of a dying star, that would then go on to live the rest of its days as a black hole. The shining itself would remain visible for upwards of a year, gradually dimming until it was just a brighter object than the rest, then just a star, and then, just a colorful nebula around the former star, glowing with the formation of new stars within, enshrining the event for those who looked up at the night sky from then on.

However, I wasn't in it for what the scientific community proclaimed. I had already known what a supernova was, and while I wasn't exactly expecting one to occur within my lifetime and to be so bright, I wasn't going to point at the sky and proclaim the wrath of any number of gods in the world's religions.

That being said, I knew that a certain group of people would have a far more entertaining response to it all.

I needed some other way to spend what, at any other time, would be a night. However, the supernova still shone as brightly as the noon sun, and therefore, sleep would have been impossible. In fact, looking outside my window, even the creatures of nature were confused to no end due to this very same reason; birds deprived of sleep would lazily glide across the sky and crash into windows, causing a minor freakout each and every time.

Instead, I sat by my computer, opened YouTube and searched for "flat earth", making sure to filter only the most recent of videos.

Yup; in a world where a person on the other side of the world can be hit up as though they were a neighbor of yours, a class of people still denies the existence of, well, the other side of the world. Instead, to them, the continents are laid out on a flat plane, with the North Pole at its center and a ring of ice, representing the South Pole, forming the edge. The sun, moon, stars and planets are then relatively small luminaries, making circles above the plane.

Beyond that, though, Flat Earthers disagree on virtually everything. Is there an expanse beyond the ice wall, and who's funding the expedition to get there and find out? How far away are the luminaries? Is Australia stretched out along a meridian, or does it look about the same as it would on a globe? Does Australia even exist, or is it the case that the global conspiracy, proclaiming the round Earth, also proclaims the existence of a fake continent? Unlike with science, there isn't a definitive answer to anything, but the conspiracy is nevertheless accepted, ipso facto, because the Earth is flat and simple experiments "prove" it.

Needless to say, when I clicked on any random video with a mildly catchy thumbnail, I knew I was in for a treat.

"Wassup, army! So, literally everyone knows about it by now, even blind people under a rock," the particular YouTube channel's host, with a darker skin tone and a close camera so only his face was really visible, spoke. "There's a new sun, in the sky, as bright as the old sun. And THEY will talk about how it's a supernova, a dying star. Are these people for serious?"

"Like, these are stars. Of course, with the new sun, you might not have a lot of night going on, if you have any night at all - people from Norway and shit talk about how they don't really have a good night at all, not for a moment. But regardless, you know what the night sky looked before the second sun, and there were these little points, little lights called stars."

"How does NASA know anything about them? How can they claim that a star can simply die, and in dying, shine as bright as ever? This be some motherfucking shit someone came up with on drugs, if you ask me. If a star dies, you should have it go out like a lightbulb, right? That's what happens when a source of light turns off. But nooooooo! In the NASA world, when stars go out, they go out like a school shooter, y'know what I mean?"

"And take a look at this shit! If you believe what these people tell you, it is about a hundred lightyears, six hundred million billion miles- This isn't for real! This shit can't be for real, yo! You got a measuring tape to reach out that far? Don't think so! Well, then how do you know it's that far away? 'Cause it isn't! I'm tellin' you right now, it fuckin' isn't and to stop pulling numbers out of yo ass!" the host spoke, clapping to emphasize those last points.

"Now, take a look at this shit! I mean, this ain't shit, now this is for real, done by Flat Earthers, not indoctrinated by the government. We tracked this second sun - and it's important to not confuse it with the first sun, 'cause they look nigh the same, except I'd say our sun is more yellowish? Greenish? Anyway, we tracked the second sun and, like I said, if you're Santa or some shit, you'll see it move in a circle, never set..."

"And there's only one way in which it could possibly be true. 'Cause if the star were circling Earth at whatever bajillion miles away, first of all, it would break the speed of light, and that would kinda go against the point of this other government lie and bullshit about the light speed and Einstein's theory and how nothing can go faster than light, ya know what I mean?"

"Now, take a look at this diagram. The first sun goes round in the big circle, as does the moon and the other planets, and the new sun... goes in a smaller circle around the north pole. Now, if you ask me: what does make it move? Well, I have the same question towards NASA and shit: what does make gravity happen? And the rest of the bullshit, including stars that blow up and the light from blowing up lasts a day or more?"

"Now, I'll tell you what's going on, really. And you see, God has been followin' us on globe Earth and flat Earth and shit, and the rest of shit like climate change - which, by the way, is also fake as shit, and all the politics... and he decided: y'know what, I've had enough, time to demonstrate some of my powers so that the believers can shine and everyone else can burn in hell with this new star and shit, yo!"

"And that's what everything proves. That's what the flat Earth proves, because on the flat Earth and above the flat Earth, stars do not blow up as though someone shone a laser so bright it overpowered the star, which, if the star is a hundred lightyears away and the Sun is ninety-three million miles away, would make for one motherfuckin' bright-ass star, sun, whatever... The point I'm getting at is, stars are not suns and that, the shiny thing that doesn't let you sleep? That's a sun, not a star!"

"But anyway, I hope this second sun shit will get more people in on the Flat Earth, and together, we can take on the conspiracy. Be sure to subscribe and ring that bell to join the army, and when there's updates, I'll keep ya in the know. And in the meantime, remember to think flat and question the globe!"

And just like that, with nothing of substance being said other than the proclamation of a conspiracy and the inerrant word of the Christian Bible, the video was over, and a loud, techno outro was playing.

I leaned back and let the outro play in its entirety, before YouTube's autoplaying feature took over and led me to the next video. This was going to be a long night - if night meant anything by this point.


End file.
